Butch
Gilmmer and glam like the high school car wash
really dope jams like a lyrical goulash
Every time I look at Butch & Bellie in the mirror
The future and horizons of the rap game they get clearer

Bellie
Ladies and Gents
Faggots and Straights
Listen up to the all time greats!

Butch
Aretha? Marvin Gaye?

Bellie
Nah! It’s Butch & Bellie
We ain’t that loose like a bitch named Nelly

Butch
We’re a super dooper hella cool killer rap team

Bellie
Every rapper on the scene I know how to make him cream

Butch
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-BUTCH & BELLIE
Everybody in the crowd get smelly
After the show free samples on this jelly

Eminem’s one of the very few talented, well-known white rappers. Your take?

I’ll refer you to a quote from Bellie: “8 Mile was actually a pretty good movie, and the sex scene with Brittany Murphy was really good.” I will say to Eminem’s credit–I like how he teabagged Brüno.

What about Brian Austin Green, aka “David Silver” from 90210? He had that um, space-themed video, “You Send Me?”

Upon viewing Mr. Austin Green’s video, my first thought is that I would bang him. My attraction to him lies in vein of a fantasized animalistic sweat fuck with an individual too dense to understand exactly what is going on. I can’t comprehend why he is lifting weights in a Los Angeles planetarium, but that confusion does not inhibit me from being turned on by his hot hot bod.

In terms of rapping skills, he seems to be acting like the Pharcyde, but success, she keep on passin him by. Like a blender, his voice is on frapp`e. Brian’s concerned with some space lady and his voice is just whiny enough to take my caffeine headache to a splitting new level, the very solar system she inhabits.

I hope one day that Brian could be like a Princess Laia to the Jaba the Hut that is Butch & Bellie. He could be mostly naked and chained to something in my immediate vicinity. I wouldn’t be mean. He could say things from time to time. Maybe even rap.

Who are some of your non-white, non-gay icons?

I really like–and this is gonna sound strange–DMX, even though he’s insane and a homophobe. He’s the kind of person who’s so crazy he actually thinks he’s a pit bull or dog and I find that kind of anthropomorphism inspiring. I also like Slick Rick, Ludacris–rappers who have this playful spirit to them. Initially, in a lot of early rap, ’seriousness’ predominated. But then there are some people in the game who take it so seriously, like DMX, who just don’t even know that they are in fact being conjured to absurdity by like, mental illness.

Tell me about your pre-performance rituals:

Generally it involves tequila. Growing up a big inspiration to me was the movie What’s Love Got To Do With It? When Tina first left Ike she did this thing called nomyaynomnana so I do that before each show. I do a number of nomyays. Bellie usually just uses the Gold Bond powder in his midsection region because he has jock itch. Kayla will work on makeup and do dances and generally smoke a little opium before each show.

Can you envision one day playing MSG and charging $300 a ticket?

Oh yes, definitely.

Say you’re headlining a series of concerts across the country and you need an opening act. Who would be your ideal tourmates?

Lady GaGa: Love her foot piano playing.

Jermaine Jackson: Who dat?

Celine Dion: Luke warm lay.

Da Brat: Most successful lesbian midget ever.