Provided your trip didn’t originate in a similarly arid clime, disembarking from a flight to Los Angeles can be disconcerting, olfactorily speaking. Unless you’re accustomed to it, or never take the mundane into account, you don’t smell anything. Once out in the open, you may catch fleeting whiffs of diesel fumes; the ocean, if you’re far enough west; food, emanating from a taco truck. The scent of desperation specifically indigenous to L.A. lingers west of La Brea and north of Olympic all the way to the Pacific. It’s sweaty, occasionally fruity, never sexy.

I love L.A., (ok, sometimes) but the smell thing always bugged me. New York is a pretty smelly city, which I often find perversely refreshing as opposed to nauseating. I associate urban scents, both good and bad, with life, energy, things happening. Given all the neighborhoods and enclaves, the sheer number of people who call it home, and all the crazy s**t that goes down here, I think it’s more or less impossible to capture “eau de New York.” Some, including Carolina Hererra, have tried, with 212 (more like 10021) but again, you’re speaking to a very specific customer.

Turns out Bond No. 9 did too, literally, though I haven’t smelled it and therefore can’t attest to its veritable New York-iness. Bond first came to my attention while living in L.A., ironically enough. From a marketing standpoint, the whole “every neighborhood has a distinct essence” conceit intrigued me. The fragrances themselves didn’t always bowl me over, but I vaguely recall not minding Chinatown and Chelsea Flowers, for a few hours anyway.

According to the company, “The Bond No. 9 collection — 34 women’s, men’s, and unisex eaux de parfum — has a dual mission: To restore artistry to perfumery, and to mark every New York neighborhood with a scent of its own. Each fragrance represents a specific downtown, midtown, or uptown locale or a city-wide sensibility. With new introductions in the coming seasons, Bond No. 9 infuses the island of Manhattan with scents.”

And now…it’s outer-borough time! Bond’s latest offering, simply called Brooklyn, is theoretically geared toward those dwelling in the (sorry) “hipster” trifecta of Williamsburg/Bushwick/Greenpoint. In reality, the overwhelming majority of said denizens would be loath to fork over $145 for 50ml. Even uh, independently wealthy Williamsburgers would likely dismiss it as bourgeois. And perhaps slightly…lame? Imagine a hot sleepover turning awkward once that graffiti-logo-ed bottle is spotted on your dresser! What does Bond have to say about its newest product?

“Brooklyn is changing. New York’s legendary city within a city, home to a century or more of strivers, dreamers, and Nobel laureates, is reinventing itself, neighborhood by neighborhood, as an edgy metropolis. Sure, for a while there Brooklyn was a necessary second choice for the real estate-challenged Millennials seeking affordable rents and more square footage than formidable Manhattan could offer. But now — a whole new story. Today’s Brooklyn is preferable to a new generation of artistic émigrés. This is where the artists and musicians choose to move. It’s home to graffiti-ists, gaffers, and key grips, to web designers and aspiring editors. This is where fashion stylists live. New York-bound hip-and-cool Seattle-ites prefer to move to Brooklyn; smart Stockholmers book their hotel rooms here.” (Italics and boldface theirs).

In their copywriter’s defense, there’s basically no way of not making this sound at least a little (way) cheesy. The product, likely masterminded by a team of older, unhip-to-hipster-ways Manhattanites, is intended for a crowd who shuns this sort of commercial endeavor–publicly at least. I predict a large percentage of those buying the fragrance will be from Europe and Asia…and New Jersey and Long Island, i.e. non-New Yorkers.

Ok, so what does it smell like? I’m no Chandler Burr, so here’s Bond’s description: “It’s officially a woody, spicy-filled oriental that mingles cardamom, geranium leaves, and cedarwood while grapefruit and juniper leaves accelerate the scent, and South American guaiacwood and leather.” I got some samples at Saturday’s Saks meet and greet/launch, which I tried out today. Though it’s billed as a unisex fragrance, I was distinctly aware of how much of a dude I felt like wearing it. Not that I was getting up close and personal with anyone at the laundromat, grocery store, or Bed Bath & Beyond.

After approximately five hours, Brooklyn became softer, kind of sweet and powdery. But really nice. The kind of fragrance you’d want to smell when you lean in really close to someone, only detectable in super-close proximity. The verdict: not for me, but hot, on the right guy…so long as he lies when you ask what it’s called.

+Sarah (sarahsfones@gmail.com)